Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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