Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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