Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
