the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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