and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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