then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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