Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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