Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
