fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
