ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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