apparently the secret to your success is patron
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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