I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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