He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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