the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
love makes seman taste better
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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