i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
