Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
