So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
