Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
