In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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