Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have tasted many bathrooms
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
