ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she looked like the before picture.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
