Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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