I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
