i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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