No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
