It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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