First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize