I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
