She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
