I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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