Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this will be a night to untag.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
