Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize