I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
vagina is talking i cant
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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