Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
high people should be assigned attendants
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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