Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize