4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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