I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
