so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
