I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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