I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
