There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
