And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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