i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
