Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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