I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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