I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it because I queefed?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
