If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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