i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
