Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
