he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
