dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
