Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
