the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
