I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
