I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
