would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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