Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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