I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
