I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
