I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
