i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
