She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think your dad took our porno
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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