Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
