idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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