I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
