when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
