so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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