the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize